I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
