I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
