Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
