After last night, I could never be a politician.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
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