I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
