# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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