I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
