Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
