you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
