He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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