I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
