First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
