Can i not drive my cunt home
Jerry, you need to find god
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
