Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
