Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
this hospital has no fireball
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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