I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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