Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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