It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
