Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
