i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
