No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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