i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
