Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
