your thong is hanging out like whoa
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
