It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Found the puke drawer
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
