I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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