Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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