you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Randomize
