How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
