dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
