So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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