ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
