This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I want to be your penis for a week.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
