I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Randomize
