well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize