So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
