i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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