Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
