You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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