I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
