It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
