i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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