I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
