I'm lost and stupid without you.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
