Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
