his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
