she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
