so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
