She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
