We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize