You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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