I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
