that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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