I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I lost the right to judge tonight
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
