Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
