Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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